Trust - Built in boring moments

“We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.” Stephen Covey 

“I always begin a relationship with trust - until you prove me wrong.” Me

Trust has now become an overused, abused term. It doesn’t come from big slogans. It comes from being consistent.. Replying when you said you would. Remembering what someone told you last week.

Trust is all about showing up, being there. 

The myth of “team building”

We think trust is built in offsites, team outings, and workshops. Management now has fancy frameworks to build, repair, and rejuvenate trust.

The truth is - Trust is more than this - it is that intangible bond built on a random Wednesday afternoon, when someone else goes the extra mile and you don’t crucify them for it. 

I remember this one time, when I was still wet behind the ears, I gave what I sincerely believed was “honest feedback” in a group setting. I thought I was being transparent and honest. I thought I was building accountability by giving this feedback in public. 

What happened next changed the dynamics of my team for a long time after that.

By my “honest feedback”, I broke the invisible psychological safety net.

The room got quieter after that. Voices fell. Eyes darted. Energy died. Like a car slowly losing traction control uphill - you don’t notice until it starts sliding downhill.

Trust is predictability

My team wasn’t perfect, and as a rookie manager, I wanted perfection. I wanted to prove that I am a great manager, my team is the best team. 

The truth is - You don’t have to be perfect, your team doesn’t need to be perfect either. They however expect you to be ‘consistently predictable.’ 

• How do you react when something goes wrong?

• How painlessly do you pivot?

• Do you say what you mean and mean what you say?

Trust is built when people around you know you will respond in a stable manner, no matter what. 

Navin Mathew v2.0

Over years, I’ve practiced to:

• Praise in public, correct in private

• Respond, don’t react

• Be the first to own up to my mistakes

• Keep promises - even the trivial ones

A Google study on high-performing teams (Project Aristotle) found that psychological safety was the #1 factor in team success. Not talent. Not experience. Not compensation. Not free food, but a culture of safety. 

You’d think advice like this should be taught in schools if you aren’t already born with it.

Your takeaway

• Trust is not built in big moments - it’s built when leaders are consistent with how you respond

• How you respond teaches your team to react to situations - your reactions teach your team how safe it is to fail

• Predictability trumps brilliance. You don’t need to shock and awe your team. All they expect is calm predictability