What Bella Taught Me About Managing Successful Teams

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” — Groucho Marx

Bella has never read a leadership book. She has never attended a workshop on psychological safety or workplace dynamics. Yet, she has taught me some of the most useful lessons I know about trust and leadership.

Bella is my dog. As she's grown older, I'm becoming more aware of the fact that she has a mind of her own. There are days when she listens to everything I say. And then there are days when she considers my request, looks at me nonchallantly, and looks away in a way that seems to say 'Ok, daddy, but that is a pretty bad idea.'

And over time, I began to notice something - The more I tried to control her, the less interested she was in listening. Conversely, the more I understood her, the easier everything became.

Leading people, I've discovered, isn't a very different ballgame.

When I first became a people manager, I thought trust came with the role. After all, I was the manager.

I figured people would tell me what was broken when it broke. Wrong!

Over years, I had the privilege of managing freshers and tenured professionals. The veterans in my team had practised their craft longer than all the years I've been working, and I had to manage them.

If this doesn't teach you humility, nothing else will.

You cannot walk into a one-on-one with an experienced professional and assume that your title has suddenly made you the smartest, most qualified person in the room.

Thankfully, and this is something my mentor-manager told me early on - 'Your job as a manager is not to have better answers... you never will.... it is to ask better questions.'

So I started by asking the battle-tested veterans in my team:

'What kind of work gives you energy?'

'What frustrates you?'

'Where do you want more independence?'

'What can I can do make your job a little more easier today?'

This last question always got them thinking about roadblocks and solutions to them. 

Now, typically, asking such a question can be opening a pandora's box, but I'd rather bite the bullet than risk losing such rare talent.

Over time, conversations grew, so did their trust in me as their manager.

Much like how Bella began to bond on our walks. She began to recognise and trust me as her alpha.

But beware! Fair does not always mean equal.

One of my strongest beliefs I had as a manager was to always treat people fairly. But I no longer believe that means treating everyone the same. Now before you get the pitchforks in, let me explain why. 

As a pet parent, you often hear how their pet loves treats. While some dogs respond to treats, others respond to praise, and some other dogs to play.

I naturally assumed Bella could be trained using treats. Again, wrong! 

Bella was never motivated by food. I could never get her interested in treats. I had more success training her with praise and constant conversation, as we would to a young child. 

People are more complex.

While one person may need space before discussing a problem, another will choose to have a conversation dissecting the problem right away. 

One employee wants detailed feedback, while another may simply want to know what is expected and the freedom to find their path to the goal.

Some will want public recognition, while others are happiest staying in the shadows.

I was able to notice these traits in my people. Individualization has always been one of my natural strengths, although I didn't have a name for it early in my career.

I simply knew that managing everyone in exactly the same way did not work. Not everyone has the same motivation, method, or goal.

Where Advices cease, Coaching begins.

Someone walks into a one-on-one with a problem.

We listen for 90 seconds. Then we say:

“Here's what I would do.”

I have done this.

Many times.

We all like solving problems. It makes us feel useful and wanted. It took me a while to understand that giving someone my solution may solve today's problem while quietly weakening their ability to solve tomorrow's.

Coaching requires restraint.

The GROW model offers a useful structure:

• What is the Goal?

• What is the current Reality?

• What Options exist?

• What Will you do next?

Simple questions. Open-ended questions. 

Coaching take discipline. Because while the other person is thinking, every managerial instinct in you wants to jump in and help.

Sometimes leadership means keeping quiet for another 30 seconds.

Bella understands this better than I do. When we walk together, she will suddenly stop.

Maybe it's a familiar smell. Maybe it is a new dog. Or then again, it could be a suspicious patch of grass that wasn't there yesterday. 

I've seen so many dog owners pull the leash to keep moving. But I don't. I let her explore.

She simply experiences more of the journey and we both reach home. 

Coaching is a little like that - You don't need to control every step.

One of the most important tenets of coaching is Active listening. 

The art of listening to understand and not just respond. The part of the conversation where we are actually paying attention, to what's not said.

The usually chatty team member who has suddenly become quiet.

The enthusiastic contributor who has stopped volunteering.

The confident designer who suddenly asks for approval on every small decision.

When people lost trust and faith in you and the team, you already know the downward slide has started.

The signals don't annouce themselves. 

Dogs are good at reading energy.

Managers should be too.

Not by making assumptions, but by being curious. Politely curious.

“I noticed you've been quieter in our last few discussions. What's on your mind?” 

Get out of my way!

As managers, we are driven by this invincible need to control and fix everything. I've worked for managers who had the functional instinct to review every single email, attend every single meeting, and demanded that we run every single decision by them for their approval. 

Sure, as managers, we are responsible for outcomes. But by micro-managing team members, we are building teams that cannot move without you.

If there are some things I have learnt over the past decade, it is that managing people is simple. We needlessly complicate it. 

Bella loves trekking. Often she would scout the path ahead. But no matter what, she will always look back, to check on me, for instructions, and then she keeps walking ahead.

I think efficient teams are a little like that - They don't want to be on a leash, by their manager. They should know the direction and trust you to be there for them when they need you. 

Here are my six thumb rules:

• Responsibility ≠ control

• Create clarity

• Build trust

• Understand the motivation

• Remove obstacles

• Coach when needed, challenge when necessary

Give them the courage and freedom to explore, make new mistakes, learn from them, and move ahead.

Because good leadership is not about raising obedient teams. It is about building confident ones.